Frustration

Somedays I don't feel like being me anymore. I'm tired of being responsible, being the person that always gets the job done, that always makes the plans and arranges things.

I wonder what it is like to just show up to an event, having not planned anything, to show up to a presentation in class and know that even though I did nothing I still was going to get a good grade because of my peers' hard work. What would it be like to ignore what is good for my children and just do whatever was easiest?

But that's not how God designed me, thankfully. My plate is pretty full right now, and it's nothing I can't handle, but somedays it makes being me pretty hard. God called me to be a daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, wife, mother, friend and now teacher. And God didn't call me to be these things in only a half-hearted way. He wants me to give it my all. God gave me gifts that have allowed me to be a unique person. I am the only me and even though somedays it makes me tired and it makes me want to forget all of the planning and go get in bed with a good book, I would not be honoring God at all.

I know this is season of business for me right now and I will look back on these days with joy because they were full of following God's plan for my life. But as Carter had a complete melt down in Target today and behaved like a two year old. I wanted to be someone else. My prayer for today is that I will allow God to remind me of who He created me to be...nothing more and certainly nothing less. I am so grateful that I have Jesus in my heart to guide me and make being me, more graceful than being me on my own.