Guilt

This title could mean a lot of things for a lot of mothers. Today my guilt has a specific meaning. Sitting on my desk in front of me is a "mission card". This "mission card" is for a program at my son's school called Rocket Readers and every month when this "mission card" comes home a wave of guilt comes over me. On this card I am to record 16 different books that I read to my kindergartner over the month. Then 5 of these books Zack should name a character in the story and name their favorite part of the story. If they turn it in they get their name and picture on the wall outside of the library and if they do it all year that get to be a part of a special breakfast. Doesn't that sound wonderful??? Hmmm.
I have never turned one in. I tried the first month, but then it got accidentally thrown away. You might think I am against participating because I don't want to read to my children, but if you know me you know that I read to my children almost EVERY night. They love story time and now that Zack is reading he takes part in it too. So what is the problem you ask? That is just ONE more thing for me to do. Zack is too young to take care of this himself. That might be the ONE thing to throw me over the edge!!!!
So yesterday at a PTA event I was talking to some other mom's and they were astonished that we don't do Rocket Readers. They went on and on about how it is so important for us to do this...blah blah blah. I hate it when other people make me feel like an inferior parent. Try dealing with going to school full time, being a mommy to two little ones, taking care of the house, have a husband that works long hours, is unavailable to help during the week, taking care of a crazy yellow lab and reading and keeping up with this blog and others!!!! That one piece of paper may be the one thing that is keeping me from being committed!!! MOVE OVER BRITNEY!!!
Okay, I'm okay, I'm really okay. So it's okay that I don't do Rocket Readers, right??

Carter and Mommy Day!!!

Me: Carter do you know what today is?

Carter: (eyes light up) CARTER AND MOMMY DAY!!

Me: What should we do today?

Carter: Stay home and snuggle.

Insert Heart melting here...

Wednesdays are turning out to be my favorite days. I feel like I can catch up on life, but most importantly I spend some alone time with Carter. I just looked at my calendar and we only have 12 Mommy and Carter days left. He will go to Lottery Pre-K in the fall and I will be in school as well. I will miss these days.

I need to come up with ways that I can spend alone time with each of my fellas when we all get so busy we can't think straight. Michael and I are really good about going on dates and having alone time. I think we both need to be good about doing that with the boys as well. Michael said the other day with a little cheer in his voice "You know we are the third of the way there in getting Zack out of the house". And I leave the room to collect myself! I know it is all going to whiz by...so I am going to stop writing this post right now so I can go snuggle with Carter...

A Whole Lotta Nothin'

For those of you that might possibly read this and want to know about my mother-in-law, she came home on Friday!! She was very anxious to get home and begin her real recovery. Her husband is her biggest cheerleader and really helps her do whatever she needs, but encouranges her to be as independent as she can. I called yesterday to check in and they had just finished her "PT" which was going up the stairs. She sounded tired, but GOOD!! I think her attitude is changing. Last summer they bought a really nice RV and I think getting better so they can get out on the road is what is keeping her going. We camped with them once last summer (we were in a tent) and she really loved watching the boys. Zack learned how to ride a two wheeler right in front of her and I think that is a memory she really cherishes and she is looking forward to making many more! Thank you all for your prayers!!

I have been busy with school. Things have not been too bad, but with education courses it is a lot of projects, so about mid-term I am waiting for it all to hit the fan! I'm trying to stay ahead of the game, but when you have professors that don't even know their real game plan that makes it a little hard.

I have also been doing a little redecorating! We have lived in this house for three years and we have done some major projects. New countertops, backsplash, tiling in the bathrooms, light fixtures, painting, etc. So we continue on... We (and I mean the "royal we" as I am not allowed to pick up a paintbrush due to my wandering brain) painted two rooms last weekend. I will post some before and after pics. when we finish getting everything hung up.

I'm also working on my "wall of fame". We have a back staircase and since we bought this house I have wanted to fill the back staircase with pictures of our family through the years. I have been working on getting the right pictures and the frames and now all I have to do is hang them...should I be trusted with a hammer???

So that is what I have been up to... Michael and I are beginning to plan our summer. I will be in classes, but we are doing a big beach trip with my family and some camping adventures!! This warmish weather has made me ready for SUMMER!!!! Have a great Sunday!

Good Tired

So Wednesdays are my day at home. Carter doesn't have preschool, I don't have class. I can stay at home and just catch up. Today I didn't leave the house, I hardly got dressed...just took my shower and put comfy clothes right back on. As I was helping the boys get dressed for bed I got a good look of myself in the mirror and let me tell you what I saw is not what keeps Michael coming home. I said "ugh, I look rough!" and Carter sweetly said "and tired too." But I might be tired, but it is from a day of catching up on things around here, school work, etc.

As I think about all of the reasons I am tired, I keep thinking about a family I have recently discovered (Thanks Angie!) that is dealing with more than I could ever dream of... They are the neatest couple and I think of them more as missionaries without boundaries, not really knowing who they are touching as they share not only their journey, but the power of God through all aspects of our lives. God bless them...

I talked to my mother-in-law today and I need her to be kept in your prayers. She is in a lot of pain and she is just getting worn down. We said a prayer together over the phone and she was begging God for a healing. I pray that too. She needs to be pain free. My heart hurts for this active, vibrant woman, stuck in a body that keeps failing her.

I find myself hurting for many people in my life, those that are suffering physically, mentally or emotionally. But I know that only through the love of Christ can that hurt be turned into hope.

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31